The Politics of Becoming an Adult…

As the father of a ten-year-old daughter, I feel I must deny a pervasive cultural stereotype. Over the next five to ten years my child will develop into a sexual being and she will, at some point, lose her virginity and be indoctrinated in a very visceral way into the adult world. Despite what everyone seems to think about fathers of daughters, this does not freak me out. It is as inevitable as her first steps, her first words, or her first report card. And like those other milestones I cannot cause this experience to unfold in a certain way for her or even at a certain time. I can only be there to teach her when possible, to support her when necessary, and to love her always. Everything else is up to her.

I recently read a comment on a blog proclaiming that “a social conservative is a liberal with a daughter in high school.” It’s almost sad to imagine someone whose beliefs are so shallow that they would collapse at the slightest contact with reality. But like the supposed lack of atheists in foxholes, this is a nothing but a myth. There are many atheists in foxholes, just as there are freethinkers who die without converting on their deathbeds, and there are even more old liberals who still have brains.

All of these myths are variations on the same theme: that liberalism is naïve. A symptom of youthful idealism, liberalism is supposed to be extinguished when a man (and, oh yes, I mean a man) reaches adulthood. At that point his ideals are tested by the hard realities of his own life and found wanting. He realizes that he must accept authoritative, absolutist, traditional principles or else all that he holds dear will be subject to rot and decay. Sorry conservatives, but that’s just not the case.

In fact it’s the opposite.

It’s the conservatives who are the wide-eyed children, and the liberals who are the clear-eyed adults. Is it mature to believe that you should get yours and everyone else is on their own? Is it grown up to do whatever your leaders tell you to no matter the consequences? When you run out of oil would an adult go steal it from someone else? And having decided to invade another country, would a plan that involves blowing up lots of stuff with the biggest bombs available and assuming that the enemy will just surrender to our obvious awesomeness sound plausible to anyone over the age of 10? Is it the wisdom of age to think that women were put on Earth to clean house and give men pleasure? And could an ideology that thinks it can keep children in line by the strength of its rule-making have been invented by someone who knew anything at all about kids?

The supposed immaturity of liberalism is another example of conservative’s bizarre and acidic projection. Knowing they have the weaker position, they reflect their fears as a poison into common discourse and hope we’re confused enough to let it erode our moral sensibilities. But we’re on to them now, and we can harden ourselves to their attacks simply by standing up for our own convictions.

I want my daughter to have a rich and satisfying sex life. When she’s mature enough physically and emotionally to be able to handle it I expect her to sow some wild oats (or whatever the equivalent is for girls), and as she gets ready to settle down I hope that she kicks the tires – as it were – of her potential mates. They better pray they can keep her damn well satisfied; that’s my daughter we’re talking about.

- jack*